Feeling Maudlin

It strikes once again. I guess this happens to me, perhaps once a month, maybe during the full moon (full moon ba ngayon?) or middle of my cycle (well, kinda true). I'm feeling so down and in the dumps now. Starting to think maudlin thoughts once again. I'm usually so upbeat and optimistic, but I have to admit, I can be equally, if not more melodramatic when I'm down and depressed. Perhaps because its so chilly right now(December nights), or the fact that I'm losing the challenge a close friend threw at me (3 dates before the year ends !!!). Hahay, pag-ibig na naman ba, or the lack of it, ang kahihinatnan ng blog entry na ito? Hindi naman siguro. Wala, masaya lang kasing maramdaman ang kababawan ng pag-ibig. Yung kinikilig ka, at magkakandaugaga para lang sa isang lalaki. Kabaliwan.

The Examined Life

I'm looking for a 2009 planner. I always start each year with my new planner, excited for the year that will be. Not that I really jot down things to do and events to go to. I'm afraid I entirely use my yearly planner for an altogether different purpose -- as a mini-diary. Instead of looking at the future, I look at the past --- as I jot down things that happened on that day. Hence its not a diary really, since I don't really expound my thoughts for each event here --- I leave all my writings and ruminations for my blogs after all. My planner though, functions similar to what Doogie Howser MD (remember that famous TV show in the 80's or early 90's) where he'd write a line or two of what happened for the week in his computer.

I wish I could find a planner though that allots the same space for weekend days (Sat & Sun), as it does for weekdays (Mon-Fri). Or similar to the pic posted here. I mean these planner manufacturers must know that more people plan for their weekends than their weekdays! I always run out of space when I jot down what happened over the weekend. Hey I'm a weekend person after all (even with this new job now where I also work on Saturdays) there's still so much fun things that happen over the weekend. Not that my weekdays are better, I do have a very busy life, not just with work, but with social appointments plus my other extracurricular activities.

Writing in my planner is instrospection time for me,as I get to savor the things that happened for that particular day. Just writing a simple line to remind me of where I went, the people I talked to,etc. This is for me after all, just stimulus cues. I do need to rely on my memory to give me the full story of what happened on that day. Example: "June29,2008: My 35th bday! At home lang. Lunch at SM Bigby's with Sheila,Tom & kids. Konting ikot. Visited dead lolas at Queen City (cemetery)". Yup, its that sparse or even cryptic. But hey,I'm writing this for me really.

Still, this is something that works for me. After all, I believe it was the famous philosopher Nietzche who said that the unexamined life is not worth living. Or if I were to paraphrase that, the unremembered life is not worth living.